Another poem!!!
Hello all!
Thanks for the umm... you call those comments?!?!?!
Be serious!!!
Nevermind..
Oh yea, flo!!! i especially like the part Aragon went like 'that's retarded.' too!!!!'
Myb it's coz of the look on his face.. hahaa...
Anyway, today woke up at 3 something in the morning to do my piano homework(i sooo hate theory!!!), and i wrote this poem.
Please comment on it!!!
Thank you sooo much!!!
The Other Choice
The sun has yet arisen,
The moon still up,
Birds in their nest,
I'm tired but-
Soft footsteps,
Waking dust from sleep,
The ticking clock,
Noiseless to those who sleep deep.
Beautiful night,
How peaceful, how serene,
Moonlight lights the path,
The one I've never seen.
Looking closely I realised,
No-- I've seen this before,
Been through it never,
They say it's the law.
That must have been lies,
It must have been,
Maybe they've never seen,
What lies within.
For it did not seem dangerous,
Now in the moonlight,
Instead; calm and beautiful,
Beauty of the night.
Through the shining path,
My journey filled with wonder,
Scary-- I can't say it wasn't.
But mostly my mind just pondered.
What is this feeling?
This excitement i feel,
Where have all this been?
The secret path I never knew.
The never ending path,
Never ending surprises,
Frightens me but--
My courage rises.
Now that i've been through it,
No one can say I haven't seen,
The other choice,
The could have been.
Well?? Well???
How is it??
Like it???
I like it.... though... i'm thinking my vocab for this poem is extremely low... keep saying beautiful.. what say you? is it OK?
For goodbye world,
If you were wondering, which i'm guessing you weren't,
It's kinda like i'm sealing myself from the world.
Something like that.
Look at it again.
It's not that good coz only some parts show that...
Thanks for the umm... you call those comments?!?!?!
Be serious!!!
Nevermind..
Oh yea, flo!!! i especially like the part Aragon went like 'that's retarded.' too!!!!'
Myb it's coz of the look on his face.. hahaa...
Anyway, today woke up at 3 something in the morning to do my piano homework(i sooo hate theory!!!), and i wrote this poem.
Please comment on it!!!
Thank you sooo much!!!
The Other Choice
The sun has yet arisen,
The moon still up,
Birds in their nest,
I'm tired but-
Soft footsteps,
Waking dust from sleep,
The ticking clock,
Noiseless to those who sleep deep.
Beautiful night,
How peaceful, how serene,
Moonlight lights the path,
The one I've never seen.
Looking closely I realised,
No-- I've seen this before,
Been through it never,
They say it's the law.
That must have been lies,
It must have been,
Maybe they've never seen,
What lies within.
For it did not seem dangerous,
Now in the moonlight,
Instead; calm and beautiful,
Beauty of the night.
Through the shining path,
My journey filled with wonder,
Scary-- I can't say it wasn't.
But mostly my mind just pondered.
What is this feeling?
This excitement i feel,
Where have all this been?
The secret path I never knew.
The never ending path,
Never ending surprises,
Frightens me but--
My courage rises.
Now that i've been through it,
No one can say I haven't seen,
The other choice,
The could have been.
Well?? Well???
How is it??
Like it???
I like it.... though... i'm thinking my vocab for this poem is extremely low... keep saying beautiful.. what say you? is it OK?
For goodbye world,
If you were wondering, which i'm guessing you weren't,
It's kinda like i'm sealing myself from the world.
Something like that.
Look at it again.
It's not that good coz only some parts show that...
posted by cookie at 6:00 AM
2 Comments:
okay see?!! i'm writing a comment for you!! oh yea..i'm nice...right anyway, its a great poem..keep writing la~ SOOOOO LONG!!! but GOOD...keep up the good work
I don't know if my interpretation is what you were trying to say. But the first three stanzas are exceptional. I can actually see everything that you're describing. Way to go!
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