College??? *screams*

It's the second day of college and I feel like I've been doing this for a month...
Where do we find the time to read everything? Anyone!?!?

~DESPERATELY IN NEED OF TIME~

Hey you! Yes you!! Hi!!! Do you have TIME?
You do?!
Great!
You're just what I need!!!

If you have some TIME stored up somewhere in a cupboard or something, please please please do not hesitate to call the following number; 1800-I-NEED-TIME right away! Ask for the COLLEGE STUDENT and we'll make a deal with you. This is a once in a life time opportunity! Don't miss it! :)

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*Anyway, currently hoping I won't regret picking what I'm studying now in let's say 10 years... I mean, you can't turn back time... Let's hope this is the RIGHT decision!